Weekend and Thoughts on the Future

I had an amazing weekend last weekend -- in fact, I still don't know that I am fully recovered, energy-wise, from it.  Our house of prayer set up a prayer room in the basement of Calvary Temple and spent many hours praying during the weekend while a conference was going on there.  It was an amazing time, and the Holy Spirit was moving in some pretty amazing and dramatic ways, and encountering many people.

I was also really encouraged by the final session, led by Calvary Temple's young adult pastor, Trevor Meier.  He spoke a powerful message which really encouraged me, especially in terms of taking hold of the words that I believe God has spoken to me regarding my calling, and moving into them.  But it leaves some questions for me as well, because I am currently not in a place where I have opportunities to preach and teach.  I love my house of prayer, I have learned so much about worship and intercession there, and I know that the Lord is continuing to do things in my life there.  But I also long to be in a place where I can do the things I was created to do, and right now I know I am not living out the fullness of my calling.

I went to Harvest Family Church (1030 McPhillips -- in the basement of a hotel, in Winnipeg) this past Sunday and it felt really good to be in a church setting.  Not that SHOP isn't also church.  But to see the full variety of age ranges represented (including a 70 + year old man who was dancing -- albeit slowly, but DANCING!) felt really good.  It felt good to not feel like one of the older people at church, and also to see a place alive with ministries and lots of potential areas to plug in.  Not that I am seriously considering leaving SHOP (nobody panic!), but I am seriously considering what it means for me to try to live out my calling and to step forward into the things that God has called me to do and be.  I'm not really sure what the answer is.  And no -- I am not writing this so that someone will read it and try to find an opportunity for me or something.  But after waiting 8 months for some sort of ministry position to come forward, I wonder if maybe instead I should simply start looking for places where I can get plugged in and get involved in a volunteer role.  I think there are a lot more things God needs to teach me before I move into the fullness of my calling, but I also believe that I have a lot to give, so I am going to start keeping my eyes opening and looking for places.

I recently thought seriously about applying for a police constable position in Winkler -- the pay would be really good, and I thought "If I'm in a waiting place right now -- why not at least be making some good money while I'm waiting?"  But I am still hoping that something will shift soon and a position will open. I think I'm looking at Christmas time as the deadline, after which I will re-evaluate where I'm at, and what I want to do in the coming months/years.

In the meantime, the Lord seems to keep reminding me that all of His promises to me are "Yes" and "Amen" -- not just the ones spoken in Scripture, but the ones He has spoken to my heart.  I need those constant reminders so that I don't lose heart, and keep pursuing Him in the midst of uncertainty.

Brokenness -- I love this quote

"We need each other, never more than when we are most broken. But brokenness is not a disease, like cancer, that may or may not develop. Brokenness is a condition, one that is always there, inside, beneath the surface, carefully hidden for as long as we can keep a facade in place. We live in brokenness. We just don't always see it, either in ourselves or in others. A central task of community is to create a place that is safe enough for the walls to be torn down, safe enough for each of us to own and reveal our brokenness." - Larry Crabb inThe Safest Place on Earth

Uncertainty, and Thoughts on SHOP

I was reflecting on uncertainty on Sunday while sitting in the prayer room at SHOP.  Here were my thoughts:

The Lord wants us to learn to live with uncertainty: faith is not formed and trust is not learned when we know the answers and can see our future clearly.

Why does God choose uncertainty in our lives?  Why is faith important?

It seems to me that God wants me to trust in Him for my immediate needs and longings, but the reason for uncertainty is much bigger than this.  It's about laying down my life and submitting to His larger leadership on earth, and maybe even passing that on to the next generation.  What the Lord is up to in human history is so much bigger than us and is way beyond our understanding -- therefore it requires that we have faith.  Uncertainty, and our obedience in the midst of it, is also a demonstration to the powers and authorities of the heavenly realms of the glory and goodness of God.

If I am to have a faith that can handle intense pressure, I have to take these times of uncertainty now as training, as an opportunity to learn trust, and grow in faith, so I can handle more intense scenarios in the future.

That said, the tests now ARE REAL, they are intense already, and it is about building up a history in trusting God.

These tests are also about repeatedly being crucified, putting to death my desire to be in control and have any sort of confidence in my flesh.

There must be times of testing and humbling to prepare me, to reveal the reality of what's in my heart, and draw me close to God.

And finally . . . Uncertainty is God's fit to us to allow us to grow in faith and trust.  It's a gift!  And I need to be thankful for God's testing, because He can be trusted.

Also, I wanted to include some thoughts on SHOP.  I was really blessed this weekend again, especially watching as the Lord used our house of prayer to minister to some leaders from IHOP who were visiting Winnipeg to lead a conference this weekend.  It was a reminder to me that our house of prayer is not a mini-IHOP.  Nor is it a little brother to the ministry down in Kansas City, even though IHOP has been around doing night and day intercession and worship for 10 years, and we have yet to have our own building.

We are a unique body, sovereignly assembled by God for this time and season.  Our role in the prayer movement is unique, and we are already ministering in the fullness of what God has for us right now.  I believe God has more for us in the future, but we don't need to wait until we have our own building, or are putting in more "hours" until we can feel like we have finally arrived.  We HAVE arrived, and what we will be remains to be seen, but the Lord is present with us in a very powerful and unique way.  It's awesome, and I felt so blessed to see the giftings God has placed within our body and the way He is increasing them.

Some days I get sick of my job, using my 6 years of education to do a job that doesn't even require high school.  And yet if I had rushed into ministry right after school I might well have missed all of the amazing things God has poured into me over the past few months.   So I need to remember again and again that God is good -- His leadership is perfect, and His shakings can be trusted.

Why Ahmadinejad is REALLY Bad News

This clip talks about some of the Iranian president's extremist end-time beliefs. Rosenberg (the guy getting interviewed) is the one who wrote a series of Christian fiction books dealing with crises in the US and Middle East that turned out to be eerily prophetic. He has studied the beliefs of Ahmadinejad extensively.

An Interesting Footnote to My Last Post

Just thought I would throw this in, cause I just thought of it yesterday or today, and I figured a few of my S-HOP readers might get a kick out of this.  When I was headed out to experience S-HOP for my first time, on June 15 of last year, I turned north on highway 3 to head to Carmen.  There was a motorcycle in front of me and I looked at its license plate and it read "Joel 2."  No word of a lie.

I remember seeing it and laughing, just thinking "What are the chances?"  I was thinking specifically about the portion quoted by Paul in Acts, but I realize now the significance of the entire chapter to our community.  Anyway, just thought I would pass that along.

Why I Love My House of Prayer

Next Monday, Sept. 14th, marks a year since I began to regularly attend Sanctuary House of Prayer in Winnipeg. I had gone there once before, on June 15 (click here to see my blog post), but began coming regularly on the 14th. For the record, I was looking in one of my notebooks and Kristi was teaching that Sunday on the Fundamentals of God's love (it was really good Kristi!)

It's been an amazing and interesting and at times bizarre year for me, especially coming out of me conservative Mennonite background. But before coming God has already been giving me glimpses of a more charismatic church world, and I was feeling very open to (but ignorant of) the things of the Spirit -- particularly tongues, prophecy, and at least a LITTLE open to the whole being prayed for and laughing-shaking-falling kind of stuff. In my background we really didn't understand much of the first two, and were down-right skeptical if not disdainful of the others. I can't ever remember being taught a theology of the presence of God as a tangible reality.

One of the great things about being in this community for a year is that I, as a born and raised conservative Mennonite/evangelical have had the chance to watch some of the things that I used to be skeptical of. I have had a chance to meet and get to know some of our "wilder" charismatics (just using that phrase makes me laugh at myself). I have seen the sincerity of their hearts and the spiritual fruit in their lives and I know that their commitment to God is real and that the unusual manifestations of the Spirit are not a show or goofy or anything like that. They are real. They are powerful, and although I don't fully understand all that is going on at the time, I'm okay with that. And I love the fact that I get to be in a spiritual community together with these great people.

I was already familiar with quite a few of the IHOP teachings through different internet sources, (podcasts and the like) and so had heard their end-times teachings, which are things I continue to struggle with. In some areas I have really shifted in my perspective, one of the main differences is the time I have spend actually reading Revelation and some of the other main end-times passages, and testing the teaching I have heard to see if it lines up. In some areas I am convinced it does, in others I'm not totally sure yet.

But one thing is certain, over the last year I have been incredibly blessed. Sanctuary is a place that values fasting, prayer, and above all a passionate love for Jesus as Bridegroom, King, and Judge. So here are a few of the reasons why I love it.

1) I get to go to a place with people who are sincerely trying to seek God with all their heart, minds, and souls -- who sincerely love Him and want to make Him the center of their lives and are doing something about it.

2) I get to hear amazingly gifted and anointed worship leaders every week, and the more I listen to them, the more I get to see the strengths that each leader and singer and team brings with them. Awesome.

3) We spend hours before God because He is worthy of it, and we love Him. Sometimes it feels more like I am doing it because God is worthy of it, sometimes more because I love Him and it's fun. But it's good either way -- because He IS worthy of it. The 5 or 6 hours I may spend there on a Sunday doesn't actually feel like that long of a time, because it's good being there, and plus I'm there with others who are doing the same thing.

4) So many amazing people who go there! People I respect and have learned so much from through conversations and from their examples. People who have made me feel welcome and have become friends.

5) Ministry nights where everyone in the place gets prayed for -- especially the one where God comes and rocks us good.

6) Potlucks that blow up into crazy prayer meetings. Also the fact that we tend to get a bonus ministry night the following Sunday.

7) The atmosphere of grace that surrounds us in our pursuit of God. We don't pursue God to impress Him, we do it because we love Him and He is good.

8) Walking into the prayer room, and seeing familiar faces, and watching people arrive and take "their place" before the Lord in the prayer room. So good!

9) Unbelievable intercession sets. We had one last week where I was basically in tears for about 45 minutes.

There's many more, but that's a sampling of some of them.

I've grown like crazy. I've learned a lot about seeking the Lord, I'm learning how to spend time before Him "just because" (still not great at it). I have grown incredibly in my ability to be free in worship (ahem, for a Mennonite). I've had some awesome times of worship. I remember this past April, being incredibly discouraged and after talking with a friend in a side room I walked into the middle of an intercession set (led by Joe) where they were just switching into singing in the Spirit, and I sat and just broke down, and it felt like the voices of Sanctuary were angels standing around me and singing. INCREDIBLE.

And in the past month, I've seen the Lord bring fruit into my life (that's a whole other set of posts -- it includes tongues, which I mentioned a few posts ago, but there's more). It's been so encouraging.

Thank you Lord! And thank you to all of my friends at Sanctuary. I love you guys, and am so glad that God led me to you!

Good Intentions . . .

Pretty much every day at work I was thinking of good blog posts I could write, and I haven't written a single one.  And I'm not about to write a great one now, either.

God has been showing me a LOT in the last month -- lots of good stuff happening and I'm really thankful for it.  Basically what I'm seeing is some fruit -- proof that during the times where I didn't see God working He WAS working, and also evidence of His incredible grace in that He still works in the lives of broken and messed up people.  THANK YOU GOD!

Highlights of the week included a great potluck/prayer meeting last Saturday, staying over at a great friend's place in Steinbach before hanging out with a buddy on Sunday, and an AWESOME night at SHOP.  Also downloading some Petra, White Heart, and Bloodgood, which brought great joy to me.  I was working pretty much by myself this week which took some adjusting at first but then I brought my own music alone and was aided by Petra, Bride, Whitecross, Spoken, Tourniquet, Misty Edwards, and a little Keith Urban as well.  The 80's and early 90's Christian rock/metal was especially helpful.

Anyway, I want to write more about some of the things that God has done in my life over the past year, since it's been almost a year since I've attended Sanctuary House of Prayer regularly, hopefully that post will come in the not too distant future.  But right now my body is crying out for rest, so I'll leave it at that.